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Get out while you can. :P

Static background all the way, though? Check.
A complete inability to use the shape tools to make halfway decent word balloons, with badly written text? Check.
Cheaply tweened sprite gifs that don't correspond with anything else? Check.
Virtual lack of decent sound, which happens to be VERY loud and abrasive to the ears? Check.

This is almost is bad as MY first movie. With one notable exception.

I actually used music from the actual game I was doing a parody of, and the best damn group in the world, KMFDM and not that gay Naruto shit.

My first movie that I submitted here before I improved my skills, did actual animation and stopped submitting here was really bad, but this is worse.

My advice? Either don't submit here, improve your skills tenfold, submit somewhere else with lower standards, or you'll get eaten alive my more people than just me.

I'm not trying to be a prick, i'm telling you this for your own good. Escape while you can. These complete idiots here at Newgrounds will kill you. Or at least spend a lot more time improvimg, first. Becuase these bunch of retarded savagaes will eat you for breakfast.

Raptros responds:

Kinda figured there would be ups and downs but I took a risk....

thx for the warning btw ^_^

Feh.

That's quite a........ positive spin you have on this website, isn't it? Well, if I can give you any points, it's for the nice suck-up attempt. Hell, it got you on the front page, didn't it? So congradulations for getting somewhere based soley on the stength of your dick sucking. Seriously. Congradu-freaka-lations.

Too bad that I can't say the same for your terrible animation skills. Some drawings tweened on a background? Come on. Nice job mixing the volume so terribly loud over the really bad voice acting, so that it really hurts the ears. Sorry, that was sarcasm. ........Also, wonderful job with the spelling mistakes on the subtitles. That was also sarcasm.

I can't help but notice during this badly cobbled together Newgrounds dick-suckingfest, however, that you left out a lot of what really makes Newgrounds into the "great" experence it is.

What about all of the idiot reviewers who only know how to shout "UR GAY GO KILL URSELF". You know.... 99% of the reviewers?

And what about all of the badly made stick animations, or badly made tweens on a background with bad voices and sound? You know... like 99% of Newgrounds submissions? (Including this one)

What about the embarassing clusterfuck forums on Newgrounds where all of the worlds 9 year old preschool dropouts of the world can go to flame each other about their piss poor knowledge of things like politics, religon, and other such absoutly useless debate topics?

The only decent thing about Newgrounds, is finding the rare nugget of gold amongst the mountains of shit, while wading through the irrelevant opinions of 8 year old pusbuckets who reccomend constant blams for submissions that already passed judgement, or whose limited world view consists of threatening flash artists with bodily harm, despite the fact that they usually live halfway across the country or even the world.

If you really want to suck Newground's dick with a submission like this, and put on some shitty rose colored glasses to make this site where 99% of both reviews and submissions completly suck look actually GOOD, then you might want to do it with an animation that ALSO dosn't suck.

But as for me, at least i'm here to tell the truth, without trying to suck up to anyone, or make some half-assed flash praising Newgrounds just to get cheap hits from viewers and a front page spot.

.........You freakin' sellout. Shame on you.

alexsmolik responds:

It is a positive spin I have on this website. I have been here for long, and I liked it ever since the beginning. I see no reason why I shouldn't make an NG-related flash. And if I make one, why does it have to be a "suck-up"? Can't you just accept the fact that I made a flash about NG as if it was a commercial, just for fun?(Even though you might not consider it funny). Why does every NG related flash has to be considered as if we were waiting for something back from NG? Do we have to make hate-NG flashes to be "cool" and show the whole world we're not a brown-nosing bastard? Meh. That's a weird logic.

I'm with you with the animation skills. They aren't the best. That being said, I try. You made a movie, you know how it is (by the way, I've watched it).

And I'm sorry about the sound, I already apologized and all. But if you had told me how to actually fix it instead of telling me what I already know, we would have gotten somewhere. And about the spelling mistakes on the subtitles, I'm french, therefore english isn't my first language, so with all due respect, try speaking french as good as I speak english, and we're even then.

Of course this isn't ALL NG. I tried to take the BEST of NG and showcase it. I could've taken ALL NG, I could've taken only the bad things (such as the reviewers, as you say), but I didn't. I wanted it to be a flash about the goodness of NG (can't I say something is cool without being treated as a suck-up?).
Of course, NG is everything you said. But I didn't see myself trying to depict all that. Believe me, I know what Newgrounds is and what it's made of. Your submission itself is a sprite movie, which is so common in NG. You're not teaching me anything with everything you said about what Newgrounds also is in your review, I know all that. But what if I didn't want to depict it in my flash? I'm lazy you know. Plus, if I did put it in my movie, I think it would've been a rather ironic mock-up of NG, which would have resulted in being funny.

As you said in the comments of your own movie: "It isn't brilliant, and isn't an epic, but I think it's not that bad either". But then again, it's all a matter of liking, and everyone doesn't like the same things for the same reasons. So if you didn't like the flash and considered it a monumental suck-up, fine by me, it doesn't change my life, really. It just makes me know that you didn't like it, that's all. But deep inside, I know what this movie means TO me, and that's what's important, what it means to me. Now everyone can interpretate it the way they want and everything.

But what I really don't get is why you keep insisting on the whole "me sucking NG's dick" thing. Just so you know, seeing the quality of the animation (and I know it's not the best!), I didn't expect to hit front page or anything... Just some random flash (like yours) among so many others, that you watch for fun and distraction. Nothing else.
Now if you want to see some kind of conspiration about how I sucked Tom's dick and gave him my ass for 24 hours before I could get FrontPage. K.

Thanks for the review though. Really explained everything. I tried to respond to everything, and I really HOPE it helps you understand some of the points you didn't like. If it doesn't, too bad, as a french proverb says: "Il n'y a que la Terre qui tourne, et les montagnes ne se rencontrent pas".

ALEX

Cool.

Don't listen to idiots like that last reviewer who said this was a "chore to watch". He and people like him are just selfish jackasses that give something a low score just because they happen to think the song is too "happy" or something. What a stupid dupe. But then again, nearly all newgrounds reviewers are.

Look.. I'LL give you a fair review. This was just fantastic for what it was. A cute, fun little video that was very well animated.

Oh and the song was very nice. It AND the flash put a smile on my face. Thanks.

Did I mention that that song was really catchy and really cool? That last butthole could learn a think of 6 about being objective.

Morons like him give this a 3. I give this an 8 becuase it deserves a much higher review than that.

ZekeySpaceyLizard responds:

Thanks! :]

Hey man... good effort.

Good effort on this. I think you did a good job.

It's pretty hilarious to see the confused, moronic, ignorant and stupid half-wiited opinion from the typical Newgrounds moron that has no clue or idea what Love Hine is that says "wtf" and "i dont get it i hate you i am emo u r gay", huh?

Yeah.. I know what that's like to recieve such ignorant reviews from total moron 9 year olds who don't know any better.

Don't listen to them. They are just morons. THe animation was a really good attempt here, and you did a pretty good job at keeping up the manic animation pace that usually results from Keitaro's abuse.

I thought it was a good try. Don't listen to the idiots. Their brain-dead opinions aren't worth jack shit.

Toes-as-Teeth responds:

i agree
thx for the review :D

OH MY GOD.

OH MY GOD YOU GET ALL TENS.

No seriously. This is really funny. I laughed my ass off.

I have a question for you now. Can I send you 10 million dollars? I really want to send you 10 million dollars. You deserve a lifesized replica of the Brooklyn Bridge made of solid gold.

You win. You are the greatest. You are better than mustard. You are better than pickles. You are the best in the universe. I want to cut out your perfect ass and wear it like a hat.

I am outside your window in the pouring rain. I want your autograph. I want you to be the father of my children. The universe is yours. You are god.

boinky33 responds:

Um....Thanks?

I second that motion...

I was going to review this myself and write one of my trademark "long reviews"

But the review previous to this one just summed up everything I wanted to say... almost word for word.

So here it is again:

"The voices are terrible, the art is terrible, the plot is stolen from a myriad of similar flash games, the choices suck, the title is misspelled, but somehow this isn't blammed yet. Oh, wait, you got some guy who's respected around here to draw your characters. This is going to end up on the front page. Congratulations. I voted 0"

MeatPieSauceDotCom responds:

oi this is not a legednary frog cartoon i repeat this is not a legendary frog cartoon i only used on of his characters and have giving him credit for it so STFU!!!!!!!!!!

Very good.

Good graphics, funny concept, NICE work of sprites and custom sprites, and the ending was very funny.

And yes, once again, I look in the reviews and see the same type of negitive idiots that, even when they review a movie, are still total ignorant dumbshit 12 year olds that think they're the best reviewers in the world becuase they figured out how to use mommy's computer last week and type in the newgrounds url.

Seriously... Newgrounds attracts so many trolls and people just trying to be assholes on purpose becuase they somehow think it's hilarious. Someone makes a film like this that obviously took a LOT of work, and dumbshits that can do NO better say "ur movie is gay and sucks you fucking tard." I even saw one dumbshit who said this movie was crap and the SMB live action movie was better (i really hope he wasn't serious), and actually said Queen Latifah was the actress playing "Big Bertha". Try reading the credits dumbshit. lol. It's great to laugh at idiots, isn't it?

So, this movie was good, and i'm always amazed when a good sprite movie makes it to newgrounds. I'm also NOT amazed to see the same idiot reviewers that call a good work gay, when they, themselves more than likely suck cock.

Go ahead and mark this review "unhelpful" like you 12 year olds love to do. But you know I speak the truth about the morons that leave negitive, hurtful reviews about everyone's work just for fun. Cause you know I speak the truth. Later. And keep up the good work, Blordow.

- KarmaX

Blordow responds:

Thanks dude, people who say "PFFT BLAM!" are fucking stupid and have made no flash what so ever. I'd say they're jealous or just fucking retarded.

Again, thanks alot for the support and review :)

.............

Dammit. Seeing these reviews reminds me why 87% of all Newgrounds reviewers are assholes.

This wasn't that good, but apparently WAY too much work was put into this to make it "turd of the week"

Jesus christ... you people are fucking heartless, and stupid, to boot. Bunch of retard 12 year olds, that think you can trash someones stuff just because you just learned how to use your mommy's computer. I've got news for you.. sure i only gave this a 3 out of 10, but isn't Turd Of The Week usually given to fucked up prank, or some miserable shit like someone scribbling in flash and exporting it? Not this. This looks like some time and consideration was put into it (although not much, honestly.. at least i can SEE how some time was put into this one.)

Seriously.. Newgrounds is just too fucking hostile towards everyone becuase of all the immature tards posting reviews. It really makes Newgrounds suck a lot of the time. I seriously also think that reviews should be moderated around here, becuase this overgrowth of moron reviewers is WAY out of hand.

Anyway, to the author: Don't listen to these fucknuts. That had some potential, and if you keep trying, you'll make something good, whether or not these whiny little idiotic bitches have the mental capacity to appreciate it.

Geez.. really though.. Newgrounds is supposed to be a place for amature flash makers to submit stuff. Not to have every single thing ripped to shreds even if it isn't really that horrible. You fuckers should be ashamed that you are responsible almost entirly for Newgrounds's bad reputation.

jupitera3 responds:

FINALLY, someone speaks the freaking truth about whats going on with all the hate filled reviews. im not good with flash....i havent had it that long and i did put effort into this. if i diddnt put any effort into it, it would have come out with nothing. Newgrounds is for ameteur flash making, not tv quality cartoons. And there are people (like me) that arent flash gods and can just sit down on the computer...scribble a little bit and come out with a movie or game like Alien Hominid. And yes, reviews should be moderated.

I liked it very much.. but...

ok.. FIRST of all. I want you immature moron idiots to read this first part. Yes... those of you that can't review anything with more than 4 words, with including "gay" or "fuck" as at least half of the 4 word sentance, and for those that say "This sucks, you need to work on your flash" I have a simple few words that you people can no doubt understand. "Fuck.... You.."

First of all people who tell this guy to work on his flash... most of you HAVE no flash. Therefore you have no idea how kinda difficult it is to MAKE things move this fluidly and animate things this well. Especially when it's FRAME ANIMATED!. I doubt that many of you "5 second reviewers" that have even TRIED Flash even know how to up the frame rate. This IS animated nicely. Not the really bad and crappy 96% of NG submissions that have a ugly drawn guy with MS paint drawn limbs attached to an ugly, stump of a body that looks like you drew him with a mouse during a severe bout of epilispy, or blobby shapes using the oval tool connected to form some kind of man. And btw this DOES have a story. It's just a very simple one. If you're a reviewer that can't understand this simple "story" than what does that say for your OWN powers of observation? I mean.. geez.. ignorant morons that think they are great reviewers while still unable to write a complete sentance are really pissing me off. Alot. Becuase there are obviously so MANY of you 8 year olds out there. And on this very site. Which you all flock to, and give your armchair opinions on real talent that is ultimatly irrelevant.

Ok, now this part is for Dynakyris to read........

That was pretty good. You can probably tell by now that i feel like going through and reviewing a bunch of your stuff, cause i don't have much to do tonight. (and becuase i'm a fan.)

A nice, well done, stylish quickie that evokes a quick, mood, and gets a definate point across. You should be proud that you've been able to touch a never with some people and give them a quick movie that everyone can relate to. I mean.. i certainly do. Like, take for instance all of the 8 year old, mentally handicapped reviewers on NG. THEY are the white balls of the world. Maybe in the next movie you should add a pair of "blue balls" ..you know, so that the reviewers that trash your stuff and can't make their OWN stuff will have something to suck on that they are familliar with. ;) That way, they can relate to a work of yours as well. hehehe.

Anyway, sorry for using your very very decent flash as a fourm for my tirade. I'm just so sick of know-it-alls who know NOTHING trash someones TALENT.

DYNAKYRIS responds:

I love your long reviews. :O Right on with the ass-blastouts.

As I've said before I too am quite surprised that this little struck out such a loud chord. No sprites either, and it was done in all of 2 hours! Whatthefff!

Ey, man. Love the new Parodius bunny avatard! Gimme a holler on IMers sometime.

Idiots and Assholes piss me off. Do yourself a favor. Don't be either.

Age 45, Male

i do nothing!

Mishawaka, IN

Joined on 12/1/04

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